note to self.

Dear Along,

I MISS YOU. I miss you so much. Words isn't enough to describe my feelings. As i'm writting this post I hope you can hear me, I hope you can see me, I hope you know how much I miss you Along, it's been 5years since you left us. It was so tragic. It was so sudden. I remember when I got back from school, as soon as I reached home, bibik ran to me and said 'Makcik kamu sudah tiada. emak nya si Arif' and I was like 'mak siapa bik??' and bibik said 'itu lor, kakak nya bapak mu' and I called mom to confirm. No answered. I called dad. No answered too. I started to cry and my body is shaking. I can't believe what bibik had told me. Then mom called me back. 'come subang now!' and I was likee 'mom what happen!!' mom said 'just come' mom pretend as if i didn't know what is happening. I called dad 'papa, along dah takda?' 'ye. Datang subang naik teksi. Papa dekat masjid' I asked bibik to change her clothes and terus tahan teksi. I cried all the way to Subang. Macam tak percaya sangat. Ternampak-nampak muka Arwah Along. How pretty she is when she smiled, how lovely she is :'(

Along, I know Adda, my eldest sister should have called you Mak Long instead. But she's too pelat to call you Mak Long. Squeeeze you sister. But Along, you wouldn't mind. Sampai kan semua anak sedara called you Along. Comel gila when i remembered you called Arif 'gentle giant' teheehe :) Along, we've grown up. Faiz, Mira and Arif, too! Faiz is going to pursue his dream to become a Pilot. Mira is taking her SPM this year. No worries Along, she's genius. i guess i haven't told you she got 9A's for her PMR. Amira just made you proud, didn't she? :) Arif just finished his UPSR. He said he can get 5A's. well i'd never had doubt innit :) And pray for me too yeah, Along. I'm doing good right now. I wish I could introduce Safar to you. But it's okay. I know you're watching me up there. Just-don't-stop-from-watching-me. Just stay close, promise me Along ;(

Along, please take care of Atok, Wah, Anya and Uncle Rizal too.

see you up there ;(

p/s : Nobody can ever replace you <3