losing the butterfly,

this post is solely a post for me to try and get my thoughts straight. it's not me being an attention whore, and certainly not looking for sarcasm. i just need to get my thoughts down and out. thanks to all of the peolpe who intended to read this. at least i've got something to rely on -- blogspot.

anyways, i had been battered with somekind of bullshit for the past few days. i don't like my new routine and i want to get over it ASAP!! yes, i'm still a kid. i can't get rid of my spoil-brat-attitude. i'm the youngest. what to do. tralala. i cry too easily and in a situations that i really shouldn't. living in reality gives me so much of denial. sometimes they can't see my good deeds. sometimes life doesn't always work out the way i think. booo. i cry even when i'm too happy. and not to mention when i'm down. sigh. some says crying can be good. but the thing is, it's just a temporary feelings for me. i must admit this. i'm kinda ungrateful creatures in this entire world. maybe i'm too sensitive. i don't like changes. i'm too afraid of things will fall into pieces. idk. i'm just paranoid. i prefer it to just stay the same. i want my boyfriend to love me like he used to 2years back. i want my old friends. i don't need new friends. they are all asdfghjkl. i'm sick of meeting new peolpe. 'hi pleasure to meet you' 'hi, i'm Teya' they don't give a big impact in my life, i have a different perspective on just about everything. seriously. ok please. why am i saying this ? i'm only 19 and i'll be meeting a lot of peolpe out there forGod sake Teya! ----- well i guess it's just a down-period (down-day) for me bcause i had this feeling before and sometimes it just disappears as fast as it came and sometimes not. i hope it does disappear soon.otherwise people will get bored or annoyed with me. idk. i hope not. :S

no more sorrow.

xx